I have a problem. I admit it. I love Pinterest. I could scroll for countless hours dreaming up my perfect home décor, learning how to be “fit and fabulous,” finding ways to make my face look thinner with makeup, learning how to pose in pictures to look better than I actually do, planning delicious meals and finding tips for throwing the most perfect parties.
And for all of those reasons, I also sort of hate Pinterest.
For instance, before it existed, I had absolutely zero knowledge that filling in your eyebrows was a thing. Seriously, guys – no clue over here. (Side note – I still don’t do it, as I think it makes me look like a man with my practically non-existent eyebrows to begin with.) But NOW, I feel like I’m really lacking in my makeup application abilities. Not to mention contouring…oh, the contouring posts!
First of all, I’m sure this works great for some people, but let’s get real. The “how-to” pictures you’re looking at of Kim Kardashian’s picture-perfect face thanks to her expert contouring? That’s called Photoshop, folks. Sure, some REALLY expensive makeup probably helps, too, and also a professional makeup artist to apply it, and hey if you have a disposable income, let’s go ahead and get airbrush makeup on the daily, too! But even more importantly…in the words of darling Sweet Brown, “Ain’t nobody got time for that!” Stop making me feel like my already chaotic morning routine isn’t enough for you, Pinterest!
Besides never looking my best, it also makes me realize how TERRIBLE I am at throwing parties (apparently).
“Back in the day,” (aka three years ago before Pinterest existed), if you threw a party, it was considered a success if people showed up, shared some laughs, ate some cake, drank some punch and perhaps one or two eight or ten adult beverages. There may have been singing, dancing and even silly games played. And all in all, good memories were made.
But now, you can’t just gather people and rejoice in each other’s company. OH no. If the party doesn’t have just the right colored tablecloths, or perfectly monogrammed cookies, or a wreath on the door to match the theme of the party, or adorably printed labels to describe every item of food or drink on the table (bonus points if they have a clever name that also goes along with the party theme), and definitely a chalk board, (there has to be a chalkboard), then what’s the point of throwing a party, am I right?
How could we possibly take the most perfectly staged pictures to post on Facebook and Instagram to show everyone else what an incredibly well-thought-out and adorable party we planned? How would everyone know how clever we are and how much money we spent and how great of a friend we are for throwing such an event?
Ugh. Enough already. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still going to DO all those things, but I’m exhausted just thinking about it. (Again, this is a love/hate relationship, y’all.)
And don’t even get me started on home projects! As a new homeowner, Pinterest has the uncanny ability to make me feel equally prepared to conquer any project I want, and simultaneously completely unequipped to do so.
Not to mention the home décor I’ve pinned. You guys. I want all the things. If you bought a house thinking, “I don’t hate this kitchen – it’s definitely suitable for a while!” Just spend a few hours looking at kitchen renovations on Pinterest and suddenly you find yourself thinking more along the lines of “We have the most hideous kitchen in the world, how could we even consider allowing people in there? Time to start saving up for the renovation!”
Again, if only I had that disposable income I’ve been looking for! (Here’s hoping my husband is secretly hiding the news that we, in fact, were this week’s Powerball winners…)
I used to be sad that Pinterest wasn’t around when I was planning my wedding, but looking back on it, I’m genuinely glad it wasn’t. I’m far too indecisive and far too cheap to have been able to meet those expectations. I’m sure my husband is even more thankful for this.
But all my hatred aside, no matter how bad you make me feel about my makeup, my wardrobe, my home and my party-planning abilities, I will still keep coming back to you, Pinterest. Because sometimes you give me a real gem – like how to really clean my shower, or this homemade puppy treat recipe my dog is crazy about, or an amazing quinoa salad recipe when I was starting believe an amazing quinoa recipe wasn’t possible.
Because, Pinterest, I can’t quit you… (ahhh, bad movie reference here…my apologies.)
So to all of you suffering along with me – I wish you luck navigating the waters of Pinterest and finding a personal happy medium somewhere between “what a great idea” and “everything in my life is completely insufficient.”
And now I’m off to find a new recipe for dinner. I’m sure it will only take a few minutes or so.