Setting Boundaries and Finding Joy

I love doing things for others – planning showers, fundraising, organizing trips, hosting events, planning dinners with friends, volunteering. These things make me happy, they bring a lot of fulfillment and joy to my life.

But because of this, I have a tendency to overcommit. And it’s the times when I decide to do too many of these things at once that instead of bringing fulfillment and joy, they start to bring stress and anxiety. And that is just completely unnecessary.

A friend shared this quote today, and it really struck a chord with me. I know a million people post a million motivational quotes every day, but I kind of love that they do, because occasionally, it’s exactly what you need to read.

This was that quote for me today:


I especially love the last line – you teach people how to treat you by deciding what you will and won’t accept. If I let people walk all over me, it’s my own fault. I’m a people pleaser and I hate confrontation. But those things shouldn’t mean that I allow anyone to treat me with disrespect, or associate myself with those who are unappreciative of my time, and you shouldn’t either.

As the years pass, I find that I grow more confident in who I am and continue to develop a thicker skin. But sometimes I still let things get to me. I’m learning as I go what and who I should or should not associate myself with for my own personal happiness and sanity. I’ve learned who I can rely on and who I probably shouldn’t expect much from, even though that one continues to hurt a little.

By no means am I perfect – I’m certain I let people down sometimes, and perhaps I’m the person that someone else needs to distance themselves from to be more at peace, and that’s okay, too.

The beauty of growing older is learning to set your boundaries, learning to love yourself enough to do so, and learning to choose how you spend your time.

I like spending my time serving others as much as possible, but I’m still learning my limits.

Today I’m just thankful for this beautiful reminder and for God’s constant grace while I learn.

In fact, the quote above is really just a reflection of a very important scripture – Proverbs 4:23. “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”

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