Portable Saunas

You. Guys. I need to address something that I find deeply concerning.

Last night, I’m just casually scrolling through my news feed when I see this ad come across my screen…

What the…

I have so many thoughts about this.

What in bloody hell is this thing? And why is it being advertised to me? And why does Walmart sell such a contraption? Is she trapped in there? She seems happy and enjoying the hydrangeas, so she’s probably fine. But, is she standing? Squatting? Is there a chair? Do you wear clothes?

A portable sauna. These were in such high demand that Walmart is not only selling them, but also advertising them?! Did I miss an infomercial? Regardless, I cannot figure out how this ad was targeted to me.

First of all, anyone who knows me knows that a sauna is literally my idea of hell on earth.

Second, I’m not actually claustrophobic, but I really do not like being in a confined space.

Third, how portable is this thing really?! It fits an entire human being – I can’t imagine trying to check this thing at baggage claim. “Oh, it’s just my portable sauna. Where I go, it goes.” 🙄

I mean, what kind of hellish torture chamber is this? And who would allow another person to zip them up in this? And let’s be totally honest, what are the odds a suitcase-sized “sauna” really works properly? By properly, I mean how it’s supposed to work for the kind of people who enjoy the benefits of a sauna. (Or in my opinion, feeling like your entire body is slowly having the life sucked out of it by the heat, while also trying to breathe and not have a total panic attack about how thick the air is and how you’re NEVER GOING TO GET OUT ALIVE?!)

I hope someone eventually let that poor girl out of there. Can you just imagine how excited she must have been to get the call that she’d been selected for a real modeling gig with Walmart and then they’re like…here…get in this thing….just trust us. NOPE.

I’m not clicking on this ad, because I just refuse to give the Walmart marketing team the satisfaction of my click (my apologies to the actual members of the Walmart marketing team I know and respect, but seriously? What is this nightmare?!) Given, it did capture my attention and stop me from scrolling and lead me to write this 500-word post about it, so perhaps they win after all.

But basically, just all the no for me on this one, Walmart. I’ll buy your $12 shirt dresses and your $10 sandals in a heart beat, but you officially lost me at the “portable sauna.” Safe to say something in your advertising algorithm is very verrrry off here.


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